Shaving | Articles | the bombsite

It’s a fairly common fact that as men grow older they do it with more grace than women. That is, men’s faces age better than women’s. Considering the hundreds, nay, thousands of pounds that women spend on beauty products and treatments every year you would expect it to be the other way around wouldn’t you? Well I hate to tell you ladies this but it’s all down to shaving and you don’t want to be doing that do you?

Wet shaving with a blade is actually a very good ex foliation process and gives the facial muscles some good isometric exercise. Yes indeed, and most of us men do it every single morning. It’s no wonder we age better. It doesn’t cost a packet either. Of course it does need to be done properly and for some reason we men don’t communicate our little beauty secrets to each other so I thought I’d let you know how to do it properly.

First of all don’t use an electric shaver. They are handy for maybe a quick once-over before you go out in the evening but they don’t do your skin any good because it is a dry shave. Yes I know you can get lubricating oils for electric shaving but the other problem with them is that they push your beard back into your skin. That’s one of the main reasons why an electric shave isn’t as smooth or close as a wet razor shave.

Second, get up a bit earlier so that you have time to do the job properly. Do not shave in the shower or bath. It should be a completely separate task that you can take your time over. Yes it does take a little time but believe me, if you do it properly you will actually enjoy doing it and you will feel good all day.

Now for the implements. You will need a razor, mirror, face flannel, proper shaving soap or gel or foam, hot water and moisturiser. The best razor is a cut-throat but they are a little dangerous and you need experience to use one. A 3-blade safety razor is probably a safer choice. The mirror could be one of those reversible types that have a magnifying side. This isn’t a necessity but it should be a mirror that you can place in a convenient position so you can see yourself without having to keep moving away from the basin. One of those mirror-fronted wall cupboards fitted above the basin is handy. The face flannel is for preparation and it should be your own and clean. DO NOT let anyone else use it or it will get covered in soap, dirt and make-up and you will end up with zits. DO NOT use soap. It is a detergent and does not contain any lubricant. It will ruin your skin if used for shaving. Use a proper shaving soap and shaving brush. If you don’t have these use a shaving gel or foam though the brush will help to set your beard up better. There are plenty of moisturisers out there for men but which ever brand you use ensure it is a pure moisturiser without scent or any other added crap. DO NOT use so-called after-shave balm nor after-shave. Neither will do your skin any good. I don’t give a toss how much your woman likes the smell. If she likes it that much buy a deodorant of the same brand and all you ladies out there stop buying us the damn stuff for Christmas please! Try buying us something useful instead like a “shaving soap and brush” set or some face flannels for our own personal use or new blades for our razor or a shaving mirror. I mean be honest girls, wouldn’t you rather shag a guy that looks good? Even at 50? Do yourselves a favour and think about your presents before you buy them.

So now you have all the tools what do you do with them? Have you had your shower/bath? Great, then go and sit down and have a cuppa. Get yourself awake. It helps. Off to the bathroom then. If there is anyone in there just chuck them out. This is YOUR time in the bathroom and the last thing you need is the old lady barging in cuz she wants a pee. Come on. Get real lads and lock the frigging door. You need to concentrate.

Fill the basin with hot water, as hot as your face can comfortably stand. Not too hot. We don’t want to look like a walking beetroot! Put your clean face flannel into the water then wring it out and hold it on your face over the beard area. Don’t forget your neck. You’ve probably seen film of barbers wrapping steaming towels around men’s heads. That’s a tad impractical at home so we use the face flannel instead. This will open your pores and help set your beard up for shaving. After a minute or so warming your face up start to cover your beard area with shaving soap, gel or foam. As I mentioned earlier the brush is best but which ever product you are using do ensure that you cover the whole beard area. Now to the shaving. Always shave in the direction of hair growth. Generally speaking this means down on your face to the jaw-line and up on your neck to the jaw-line. Use single, long strokes and wash your blade in the basin after EVERY stroke making sure you’ve got all the crap out from between the blades. You want a clean blade on your face. Once you have finished shaving clean your blade and empty the basin. Fill it with more hot water and wash off any remaining soap/gel/foam. DO NOT use soap. Just water. We want to get the crap off not put more on. Now here’s the really cool bit. Empty the basin again and run the cold tap. Don’t bother filling the basin just cup your hands under the tap and splash the cold water all over your beard area several times. If you weren’t awake before you will be now! The reason for doing this is that we have, in effect, just ex foliated our beard area and our pores are wide open. The cold water shuts your pores before any crap gets in them. We don’t want zits do we lads?

Now is a good time to wash the basin out. We don’t want the woman of the house complaining do we? And don’t forget to rinse the face flannel and hide it. With dry hands get a little moisturising cream and gently rub it into your beard area using a circular motion. Don’t rub too hard but do continue until all the cream has been absorbed then wash your hands. If you have any nicks don’t worry about them too much. The cold water usually stops the bleeding and if you shave in this fashion every day you will find that you don’t get nicks because your skin will become smoother.

You can unlock the door now and let the cross-legged rabble in while you enjoy the peace and quiet of an empty living-room before you set off for work feeling a lot better than you did when you got up.

Ladies, please remember that this is a men-only exercise as far as the face is concerned. One of your main aims is to avoid a moustache not promote one. The same process is good for you in er…. other areas but I’m just not going there today. Maybe in another post with graphics eh?