Drivers? | Articles | the bombsite

I’ve been out twice today: once as a driver and once as a pedestrian. I consider that I am a good driver but then everyone does don’t they? There are some bad driving habits though that I definitely don’t have and which really tick me off when I encounter them in others. The first two make me wonder how these people ever passed their test in the first place, assuming they did of course, and they are dangerous.

First we have the driver who either hasn’t worked out where the indicator lever is yet or has just totally forgotten that cars have them fitted as standard. These people are just plain dangerous to everyone around them, drivers and pedestrians alike. I can’t remember how many times I’ve gone to cross a road as a pedestrian only to find that the car that appeared to be going straight on is suddenly heading straight for me. Not a single blink from their indicator. I can’t remember how many times as a driver I’ve been behind a vehicle which has just suddenly decided to pull into the side of the road and park up without so much as a hint to anyone. When you drive past them giving them the look they stare back at you as if to say “what did I do?”.

The second is extremely dangerous and, quite frankly, I’m surprised I haven’t as yet seen an accident happening in front of me. You come up to an island. There are two lanes approaching the island from any of the roads leading to it. I’m going straight on so I’m in the left-hand lane. (Anyone living in a country that drives on the wrong side of the road is going to have to reverse this.) So is the vehicle in front of me. Normally, when I get onto the island I would stay over on the left-hand side leaving room on my inside for vehicles that may be going round the island to go off to the right. The vehicle in front of me today (and on many other occasions) has decided that the shortest route is best and just takes a straight line which means that as it gets onto the island it effectively cuts across into the right-hand lane, then, as it leaves the island, it cuts back across to the left-hand lane again. Very clever. There are two potential accident points with this. The first is cutting up any vehicle that may be on the inside going around the island. The second is that anyone waiting at the junction approaching the island to the left may assume that the vehicle is going around the island as it is now in that inside lane. If there is no other traffic they may start to pull out only to have the front of their vehicle taken off as the idiot crosses back into the left-hand lane again.

The third bad habit isn’t dangerous but it’s the one that ticks me off the most. I don’t use my car a lot. I only use it if I have to travel some distance. Most of the time I walk. Yes you heard me. WALK. I walked down to the paper shop today. Now this is a novelty for many of the lazy bastards who drive cars and who think nothing of getting their car out to drive the almost half-a-mile to the shop to get their papers, fags or whatever. Then they show just how lazy they are by trying to park as close to the door of the shop as possible. This usually results in the most annoying bad habit of car drivers, namely parking on the pavement (side walk). What’s up? Isn’t the road big enough for you bastards?!! You’d soon start shouting if pedestrians started walking along the road wouldn’t you? Might slow you down and we couldn’t have that now could we? You arrogant pricks!! This is meant to be a family-friendly site and look what you’ve made me do. You just don’t think there’s anyone else in the world except you and your precious little car do you?

Now there are times when even I have a problem getting by these vehicles but just think what it is like for a mother (or father) pushing a pram or push-chair, or if you are carrying several bags of shopping. These people end up having to go onto the road to get past. Well let this post be the start of a national, nay, international campaign to frighten these arrogant bastards off the pavement. I would suggest to anyone who can’t get past these vehicles to ensure that they leave their mark on them. Make sure as you go past these cars that the pram or push-chair scrapes along the full length of the vehicle. And just because it’s an expensive car, or maybe just a German make, don’t ignore it. Do it twice. Both sides if you can manage it. Pavements belong to pedestrians so lets get them back. Make the arrogant bastards pay for their thoughtlessness. Start now.