I’ve just finished watching the Bond movie on ITV. Nothing overly exciting about that but this “family” movie was sponsored by a particular brand of 7-seater SUV. Now I’m not sure that any Bond movie could be described as “family”. I think your average 4, 5, 6, 7 year old would find it totally boring though I would have to think that a 7-seater SUV would be a family car and likely to contain the odd 4, 5, 6, 7 year old passenger or two. I also think that those youngsters don’t have a particularly good quality of life to look forward to given that we are rapidly destroying it with our indecent love for oil and all things that use it.
I’ve also been seeing adverts for a particular brand of 7-seater SUV (not the same one) that extols itself as being the lowest emitter of CO2 of any 7-seater SUV. Now it seems to me that there just aren’t that many different 7-seater SUVs out there so such a claim is pretty useless really isn’t it?
There are also those lovely adverts showing how SUVs cope with those really steep mountain-sides, how they cope with snow, how they can ford shallow rivers, how they can cope with roads with an inch of ice on them and all with just a single driver, no passengers in them. Umm. Excuse me for asking but where exactly in Britain are you going to find all this stuff? We aren’t really a mountainous country apart from maybe Scotland but even there I’m not sure I’d really call them mountains, and you don’t have to drive up them. As for snow, we haven’t had any decent amount for years even in Scotland resulting in a decline of the “winter holiday” up there. I can’t compare the rare patch of black ice now and again on the odd truly frosty mornings with the thick ice shown in the adverts. As for fording shallow rivers, ordinary cars can do that so come on. Get real!
Then we have all the car adverts that tell us about the 0% finance you can now get. Of course they are having to do this to attract new buyers because of the current financial pinch that everyone is feeling here. What they fail to mention and hope you don’t remember is that one of the major causes of this “pinch” is the record-high cost of oil which in no small part has been caused by our greedy use of this commodity. What are we using it for? Cars of course. Gee what a conundrum for the poor advertising agencies (and the word “poor” isn’t used in any monetary sense).
But the real problem here is all you people out there who keep falling for all this shite because you have to drive everywhere, in a car that is faster or a car that is bigger than your friends’ or the next-door neighbours’, even to the point that not all drivers of 7-seater SUVs have a partner to put in them let alone a bloody family!
Add to all this something I’ve previously moaned about, namely the wanton, immoral waste of decent farmland taken up with the growing of pointless and expensive “bio-fuel crops”. I will make it quite plain to all you private motorists out there. People are going to starve to death just so that you can drive your lump of scrap metal around. That’s right. Driving your car has now overtaken human life in importance and that is a fact. I hope you all feel proud of yourselves.
For me, driving motor cars has replaced smoking as the new “anti-social habit”. Let’s be quite frank. Cars kill far more people, both directly, as in accidents and passively, as in CO2 emissions, particulates and taking the food out of peoples mouths than any amount of smoking did.
Now if it were left to me I would just ban private motoring. None of you need them. You never have. Of course that would be a little extreme wouldn’t it? I can hear the squeals already. Sounds a bit like a bunch of pigs at the abattoir. Oh the glee I would feel. Still, something has to be done and pretty quickly so why don’t we start by banning car advertising? We did it with cigarettes. Then the next step would be to make it illegal to drive a private motor vehicle with less than 2 adults in it. Then we could take the registration plate numbers and only allow odd numbers on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, even numbers on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and none at all on Sundays.
All just ideas until someone with authority has the balls to DO something that will make a real difference and do it NOW!